It’s sort of funny how we, as humans, give certain people the power to hurt us while simultaneously expecting them not to do so.
It’s sort of funny how we give these people everything and expect them to do the same in return, and when they don’t, you realize how truly vulnerable you’ve made yourself without even meaning to.
It’s sort of funny how people can make promises and say one thing and just days, maybe even hours, minutes, seconds later, can break those promises or say the complete opposite.
It’s sort of funny how people can let you in, bare their soul to you, share their feelings with you, and then in the next instant they can push you away as if you mean nothing, meant nothing.
It’s sort of funny how we promise ourselves not to let these things happen to us. We promise ourselves we will build up walls for protection. We promise ourselves those walls will only come down when we know it’s right. When we know that someone deserves to be let in.
It’s sort of funny how we break our own promises. We trust, we confide in, we fall. And those walls crumble without us even realizing it. We wanted to be strong, to be in charge. But we end up feeling small and defenseless.
It’s sort of funny how we do this to ourselves over and over, because society has taught us that we need someone else to make us happy. And we believe that. We buy into it. We let it influence our decisions, our thoughts, our emotions. We keep building these walls back up again, over and over; we keep looking for that person that’s worth breaking them down time after time.
It’s sort of funny how we keep getting disappointed in that search. How we convince ourselves we did the right thing this time, only to end up reiterating to ourselves that we didn’t, that it’s just like before, that it hurts just as much.
It’s sort of funny how at first there is only joy, but when all is said and done, there is only pain. And people tell you to forget, teach you to forget, help you to forget.
It’s sort of funny how people tell you to learn from this, to move on with these experiences in the back of your mind, to let them shape you and help you grow, to let them influence your next decisions, your future feelings. You let yourself believe them. You do what they say. You forget. You try again.
It’s sort of funny how no matter what, though, it seems like you just end up hurting.
And in the end, none of it is funny at all.